2004-03-27
@ 10:30 p.m. I want to go outside and smoke a bowlsy, but my parents are sitting downstairs watching "Runaway Jury". It seems I always update when I'm waiting for something. Molly came home for the weekend and we watched "Lost in Translation" though. I really, really enjoyed that film. It seriously made me want to go to Japan though. Like so much that it was a little hard to watch. I wish they had a travel channel that was nothing like the Travel Channel. It's so catered toward the wealthy. I hate all the shit they do about Las Vegas. Why the fuck would I want to watch a travel show about Las Vegas? I will probably go there someday, but sheesh. I want to see OTHER countries. I wish they would make a travel channel with just PBS travel shows. There really is nothing good on tv on the weekends I guess. Right now I am watching an Elvis special on pbs and I don't even like Elvis that much. (of course I'm talking about Elvis Presley, not Elvis Costello who I love so much I want to lick him like ice cream.) My computer is really crapped out. I wish someone could look at it for me. I have to restart it like every day. And I can't display two internet browsers at once. And I wanted to download Yahoo instant messenger so I could chat with my friend Angie in Ellensburg. The girl I replace at work Jodi had her baby, but he's not doing so well. He has a blood clot or dead cells in his brain, they're not sure exactly what. I'm so pissed at the unfairness of it all. She's in her thirties, in a committed relationship. She and her boyfriend want nothing more on earth than to have a baby, and she's had so many problems. And there are so many unwanted babies born every day. It pisses me off when I think about Kaitlyn's pregnant friend that smokes weed daily and cigarettes sometimes. PLEASE DON"T BREED PEOPLE. I go back and forth with wanting kids. I don't WANT to want kids. I want to defy the supposed "maternal" instincts. I don't want to believe women exist only to breed. I want to believe I could have a complete life without kids. Then again I love kids and might want them someday. But except for being fun and childlike myself, I'd be the worst parent. I can't decide shit. With the 9/11 hearings, one can only hope the Bush admin. has fucked themselves up beyond saving. That was truly disgraceful when he was mockingly looking for weapons of mass destruction. Over 500+ soldiers dead you piece of shit, and God knows how many Iraqi's. At dinner today my stepdad said he doesn't hate Bush personally, just everything his administration has done. Of course I hate what he has done, but I DO sort of hate him personally. He has a sense of entitlement to run this country, which I loathe. I actually hated him when I saw a picture in People magazine of him mocking a woman, Karla Faye Tucker, on death row in his state. Ok you are responsible for killing this woman and you are mocking her as she pleads for her life. Plus I believe he is a Christian fundamentalist which I am pretty much prejiduce against(not such a tolerant little hippie am I) I just have to remember that they're retarded and I'm not and then I feel better. Heheheheh. (of course there are exceptions to everything) I still feel kind of sick. I have basically no voice. Friday morning I worked until only 9:30, then went to visit Kaitlyn. She wasn't there so I knocked on my friend TJ's door. He opened it and was like, "Ooooh, I miss you. Ooooooohh I'm so lonely." Just like that. It was so funny. He was just tired of Spring break I think. We never do get to hang out anymore because I'm so busy applying to grad school and writing my paper. The new Morrissey album comes out in May. It has a song called "America is not the world" YAY, YAY, YAY! I listened to an interview with him and he is so charming and funny. I loves him so much. "And in your scholarly room. Who will swallow whom?" "Let me get my hands on your mammary glands." My kitty keeps coming in and out, in and out of my room. I just tried to pick her up and she said, "MEOW." I wish she would say something else all the time, but I can't speak cat, so why should she speak English. Yeah you can tell I"m bored. I feel like going for a long car ride by myself. Oh I can't wait to not live with my parents. It's something I dream about all the time, and I will treasure every moment of my precious life without them. God I'm in such a whiny, weird desperate mood. Blah Older Entries |