2003-11-03
@ 8:28 a.m. This might be short as I'm writing before my break. I'm not doing very well right now. I'm always considering getting a private diaryland diary so I can vent drug use and extreme depression. I hate worrying about worrying people. But if I got a new diary I wouldn't write in this one because I would have my private one plus a livejournal. But if I move my diary to a private location I want all of the archives to move with me. I probably won't move anyway because I don't know how to move archives. My mom is driving me crazy. I hate living with her so much. She won't give me one iota of the privacy I need. At the same time I am learning how to budget with her help. I hate her right now I'm sorry. She asks me why I act paranoid around her and don't trust her. Well one reason is because I constantly smoke weed and I have been smoking a lot of cigs too and I don't want her to know. Another reason is that I don't really trust her that much. If she wanted me to trust her she wouldn't look at my bank statements. She wouldn't have looked in my packback that one fateful day. My mom is the type of person that grossly over-exaggerates a lot of what she says, so it's really hard to believe her. So no I don't trust you Mom. I actually admitted that to her. *The phone has been ringing about every three words I type, so I can't be held accountable for anything I say in here anymore and if one sentence flows into the next.* Anyways I can't stand her hounding me all the time. She hounds me 24/7 when I'm home and then wants to have all these FUCKING SPECIAL TALKS where she can hound me without taking a breath. All my responses at these special talks have been that I need more privacy and I need for her to leave me alone. That's always my only request and it always will be. I'm 23, living at home to save money, and going to swallow all my pills if you don't leave me the fuck alone for five fucking minutes mother. I'm going to check out a new gym today called Shape which costs only 30.00/month to join. It sounds really cool from the ad in the paper and it is right near my job. Maybe continued later to talk about weekend Older Entries |